Couples Counselling Most Frequently Asked Questions

couples counselling wilmslowI am a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and in Advanced Clinical Training in Imago Relationship Therapy.  What this means in simple language is that I have spent hundreds of hours studying couples therapy and working with couples.

When couples come to me for couples counselling in Wilmslow they tend to want to know the answers to the same questions.

Here are the most frequently asked questions and my most commonly given answers.

Does couples counselling work?

Yes, and er, no.  It depends on the couple.  If you are coming to couples counselling to get me to fix your other half and make him/her see that what they do is wrong then you’re going to be struggling.

The couples that do best in couples counselling are those that truly want to be together and are willing to behave differently in order to build a strong loving relationship.

These couples succeed and my job is simply to guide and direct this process.

How long does couples counselling take?

As long as you need it to.  I would ask that all the couples that come to me work for at least six sessions and then review.

Six sessions gets you to a place where you know how to communicate using Imago Relationship Therapy Dialogue and you are able to build trust in the process.

After that we will see what you need as a couple. I work with some couples for years and others short term – you’re in charge.

What’s the difference between Imago Relationship Therapy and other couples counselling?

As a trained and certified Imago Relationship Therapist I will be working in a very specific way with you if you come and see me at The Affinity Centre, Wilmslow.

Traditional couples counselling tends to have the couple facing the therapist and the couple talk to the therapist and now and again to each other.

With Imago Relationship Therapy you will be facing your partner and talking to them all session.

My job is to help you do this by teaching you the Imago dialogue process and keeping the whole thing safe so you’re both able to express what’s going on for you.

Watch The video below to get an idea of the stages of the dialogue process (and try not to get too upset about Harville’s pronunciation of the word “mirroring”!)

We’ve had couples counselling before and it was too painful.  How is your way of working different?

One of the reasons why I love Imago is because of its balanced view of relationships.  Sure, you’re struggling with issues in your relationship, you may even be dealing with an affair or other serious rupture.

All relationships have pain.  It’s what we risk in order to be close to another human being.

I believe it’s really important to look at and celebrate the good things in your relationship too.  If you come and work with me you will be doing that every session.

In Imago we call these appreciations and they can transform the feel of your relationship quickly.

I will also invite you to sit down together and dialogue about how you want your relationship to be.  What’s important to you and how you might do those things together.

Anyone would get fed up of wading through the difficult stuff in your relationship week in week out.  This has to be balanced with the things you like and you need to be able to see what the point of it all is.  I’ll help you do that.

Are we going to have to wait ages for an appointment?

Nope.  Just ring me on 07966 390857 and book in.  I will see you quickly at my therapy centre on Water Lane in the centre of Wilmslow.

Some organisations that work with couples have long waiting lists for an assessment then throw the couple in the queue for therapy sessions after that so it can take eight to ten weeks to actually receive any couples counselling.

This is because these organisations are partly funded by charity and train therapists up to work with couples as they go along.

My experience is that when a couple needs counselling they often want it quickly, waiting ten weeks is just not an option.

As a private therapist who is fully trained I can offer you quick access to support and help, often the same week.

How do I make an appointment?

Just ring me on 07966 390857 or fill in my contact form.   I will get back to you quickly, talk to you about how I can help and then book you in, simple as that.

Read the book

The best book to read about Imago Relationship Therapy, and indeed on how couples work is Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples* by Harville Hendrix.

It’s an easy book to read and one that will help you make sense of what is going on in your relationship.

*affiliate link

1 Comment

  1. counselling in northampton on June 23, 2015 at 10:47 am

    You are so right that some couples find therapy works, and some don’t. Too often I find that one partner is simply dragging the other one, reluctantly, along for a therapy session hoping to ‘fix’ them.

    I have to be frank with these couples up front. The first conversation I have is to get them to discuss their commitment to the process. If they are not both fully committed, then it’s a non starter and it can take a huge number of sessions, often with no positive outcome other than agreeing to go their separate ways, which can be a positive in itself sometimes.

    But I find the biggest and quickest successes come from those who are willing to work at it.

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