Couples Contract

The purpose of this policy is to help you stay committed to coming. As the work progresses, there may be hard times, and it is easy to just want to avoid them by canceling.  I believe that is not in the best interest of your relationship.

Since this is couple’s work, I will only see you individually if absolutely necessary and then it is a decision we will make together. If we have a couple’s session and only one of you shows up, I will not see you and I will charge you for the session.

I will encourage to attend the 'Getting The Love You Want' Weekend Couples’ Workshop. I believe this workshop, which costs £600 for the two of you, is worth seven months of therapy. The workshop is designed to protect your privacy as a couple and therefore you do the processes with each other and will not be asked to share the details of your relationship. The workshop is educational rather than therapy. It is about skill building and learning to communicate.

Responsibilities of the Therapist in an Imago Session

1. To show up for appointments on time and be clear about ending on time.
2. To be clear about my fee and give a one month warning if I am raising my fee.
3. To be neutral and not take sides.
4. To only talk to you when we are all together, unless we decide together otherwise.
5. To find an equal balance between understanding, compassion and limit setting.
6. To recognize that you have all you need to move into connection together and wholeness inside yourselves and that my job is to keep you in process using the structure of the dialogue so you can find your way to each other.
7. To be 100% present, able to put aside whatever is going on inside me.
8. To interact in a respectful, non-shaming matter, modeling healthy differentiation.
9. To respond to upset about my behaviour by mirroring, validating, and being empathic and taking responsibility for my impact.
10. To explain the Imago concepts clearly and to have a good balance between process and educating.
11. To give clear homework assignments and support attempts at change.
12. To remember what happens in sessions so things can have continuity, though please be aware that I do not take written notes of the sessions.

Responsibilities of the couple in an Imago session

1. To keep appointments by showing up on time and paying the fee. If you do not attend the session within 15 minutes of the start time I will presume you are not coming and may not be available from then on that day.
2. To be as honest about your feelings and thought as you know them.
3. To follow the directive of the therapist to stay in the process of the dialogue.
4. To be willing to be open and curious about your partner’s reality.
5. To be willing to take responsibility for your part of the situation.
6. To be respectful to your partner in and out of the session.
7. To express upset and complaints to either your partner, or to the therapist rather than friends or family members.
8. To NEVER, NEVER use material from the sessions against your partner.
9. To express appreciations and gratitude for your partner.
10. To take the risk to be vulnerable at whatever level stretches you but does not break you.
11. To give and receive repairs as soon as possible.
12. To become your partner’s advocate.
13. To take part in a couples educational workshop as soon as possible.
14. To refrain from contacting me outside of sessions by email, phone or text unless it is to inform me of issues around the appointment.